The Lesser of Two Evils
- noun; Also known as The White Lotus Sentinel. This is the eventual choice when one wishes to join an Avatar Wiki newsletter staff. Even if you face constant pressure to worship the Dai Li and to join the Conservative political party, after all, it still beats the cruel, endless labor that your life is plagued with whenever you have to write for the Ba Sing Se Times. "Excuse me?! I didn't hire you on $0 an hour for this incompetency! Now give me some poll ideas, minion!!!" "I'm trying, I'm trying! (sniffle)" "You think the Ba Sing Se Times is a joke?! You knew what you were getting into!" "N-no, I quit!" "Hey, get back over here!!!" (At WLS headquarters) "It was so scary! KMP is just - agh, the horror!" "I see. Well, thanks for coming over here! By the way, you a liberal?" "Yeah, is that not a good thing?" "Er...I'll talk to Mr. Rocks. Just gimme a second to update my Dai Li fic -" "*Snicker*" "Hm, what's that? Got a problem with the Dai Li, too?" "I..." "Wow, all of us are going to get along with you just wonderfully, I can tell! (Ominous music) And for the record, KettleMeetPot is an inspirational genius." "Wha -" "I also work for the BSST, ya know - not that I was forced to make any compliments! Don't give me that face! Anyway, can't wait to start working with you for the next WLS issue!" (Slams door) "Well, I guess this is still the lesser of two evils... (Sigh)"
- noun; A fear that arises when an author has to create his or her original character's name. Many times it's harder than creating the fanon itself. "And my epic, amazing protagonist shall be called...Avatar...Avatar Yangch - nono, dangit! Why must the show take all the good names? Okay then, Avatar Yang...Yang! Just to cut it short. But, do I really want readers saying 'Yang' in their heads every time they see my amazing, wonderful brainchild? Is 'Yang' really the sound I'm looking for? Is...is... Oh no, this is exactly what I feared would happen if I started a new story! Why is it so hard to think of a name?! Now I'm afraid I'll never be able to write since my character is nameless! Why did I even try? Whywhywhy -" "Dude, get over your fanonomatophobia already. Naming characters is easy! Just call yours Avatar...uh...Avatar...Aang - no, that one's used already. How about...Avatar..." (Commence panic) "Why is this so hard?!"
Chronic Facepalm Syndrome
- noun; A disorder that arises when one faces too much exposure to extremely bad-quality stories, namely The Last Airbender Movie and poorly-written fanons. The typical result is a permanent, tomato-red mark on one's face, due to the excessive smacking of his/her forehead with a palm."(Slaps forehead) Okay, I can do this... Just four more lines until I finish this fanon for reviewing... 'And then he lauhge.' (Slaps forehead) Nono, gotta keep trying... 'I cann't be beat, he Said. Then he earthbended at him and finished the battle because he was knocked out completely.' (Slaps forehead) I'm not even sure who's being talked about anymore! That's it, I give up for now! I'll just go watch some TV to cool off." (On TV) "My name's Ong." "AAAGH! (Slaps forehead ten more times) ...Ow, my head's starting to hurt. Maybe I should... (sees mirror) Oh brilliant, looks like I have chronic facepalm syndrome! Brilliant. Just BRILLIANT! (Slaps forehead)"
Egotistic Action Scenes
- noun; The kinds of fights in a fanon in which the winning character has such an advantage over the other that it makes you cringe from all the ridiculous glorification. In fact, the glorified advantage is probably talked about more than the actual battle. "'She tried to land a sneak attack, but he simply stepped aside and gave a little shove of his arms, which sent her flying 20 feet backwards. The force was so great that she couldn't even get to her feet. She cringed in pain as he smirked, and he hardly even broke a sweat -' Ugh, what in the world? I'm cringing in pain from reading this!" "N-no, wait! It gets better!" "(Sigh) Alright... 'She charged at him one last time and waterbended a bunch of spikes, but he was just too strong. In seconds, he waved all the spikes away with a flick of his wrist, and...' *Crumples paper* GO TAKE YOUR EGOTISTIC ACTION SCENE SOMEWHERE ELSE!" "But -" "Come back when your character is human! Go on~!" (Tosses wad of paper in trash can)